LOVES

2010-05-09T21:51:00.002+08:00

Work had been hectic that i dun have the time to rest, let along to blog.
12 hours of working hours for 5 days per week.
i can even fell asleep while blowing my hair dry, terrible!
my mum would look at me, shake her head and say : 何必呢？
i seriously dunno why am i holding on to this piece of shit when things ain't the same anymore.

the time i've lost for the past 9 mths plus, i can never get it back.

sometimes, i dun even know who can i turn to when i need someone, to be there just to listen to me, to give me encouragements.

friends that i used to be close to, i've been feeling awkward meeting them cos we no longer share the same topics. i had no idea what they were chatting about, it sucks, seriously. especially you know you dun belong to the click, anymore.

i'm sorry. i know partially i'm to blame when things ended up like that.
saying "i've got no time", frankly speaking, it's just excuses.
it's just something we make up to cover up for us.

i wanted us to be like what we are, but i know it's impossible.
i can only go through all the pictures i've took with you all. (:

very emotional post. i can't help it though.

2009-08-07T00:36:00.001+08:00

i really wonder if anybody had missed me, at all.

current status : down.down.down.

2009-08-07T00:28:00.002+08:00

it's been quite awhile that i had posted something in here ever since blogger is having really major problems. =/
thank god it's totally fine now, i've got quite a handful of things to update, from my zoo trip to lesty da ge's advanced birthday celebration! no doubt i have tons of pics to upload!

i'll update them, one by one, so stay tune! (:

it's been ages since i last saw you. you. you.

2009-07-16T00:02:00.002+08:00

7 more days ♥

can't wait for the day; our very own special day!

2009-07-15T23:24:00.006+08:00

had fun with bud last saturday! The last time i saw her was at her birthday bbq which lasted not more than 3 hours since most of us left early. =x

we were suppose to meet at 3pm but end up meeting at 5pm, as usual lah, when both of us always tends to drag drag drag the time. haha.
had a good time catching up with her and of course cam-whoring, it's like we took more than half of our pics in the bus lah. lol.
through our conversations, i realised how fragile looking she is now, as compared to the past.
i watched as she grow, from a little girl to a fine young lady!
I can see the tiredness in her eyes, the way she talks.
please do take care sweet! (:
you're always pretty to me my dear girl, have more confidence!(:

there are lots of ups and downs in a relationship, you ought to be strong to keep it going, especially when you guys just started not very long ago. it's hard to maintain, but if there's a will, there will always be a way. JIA YOU okie! no matter wad, you have us, your friends to lean on!
i really enjoyed myself that day. thanks for accompanying me~
more neoprints and outings like this, with ling, ting. (:

LOVE YOU GIRL! ^^

2009-07-10T21:48:00.002+08:00

After 6312658794675 years of not meeting with helicia,
i'm finally meeting her up tomorrow! (:
it feels good to catch up with old friend again.
on a even more happier note, i can see mr bf tomorrow too! woohoo~

: i should be contented :

2009-07-10T12:09:00.002+08:00

Another raining day.

It had been raining constantly for the past few days. It rain, then stop, then rain again.
Unpredictable weather, but i kind of enjoy the cool weather these days.
More of that please! (:

Anyway. i woke up today seeing my papa arranging the alter for the buddhas.
changing water for the flowers, getting fruits on plates. chanting prayers for hours without fail,
that is his daily rountine.
He is really one devotee. He could spend alot on the statues and all without a word, just to give the buddhas a place of belonging.
He believes in the existence of gods and buddhas, and he always tell my sisters and i that by praying now till the day you're gone, there will be buddhas to bring you to the other world.
no scientific facts, it's whether you believe it or not.(:

the buddhas, 三宝佛

can you believe these flower arrangements come out of a man's hand?=p
my mother used to joke bout how sissy my papa is, that such a big man doing such girly stuffs,
my papa would laughed and said : " this is called art. "
but it's nice isn't it? i would never be able to do something like that.

pretty light. (:

saw the mist- like looking smoke?

it's like the insecticide that they spray every once in a while to kill pests like cockroaches.

the smell is choking smelly especially when we live on the 2nd storey, we had to close all the windows and switch on all the fans to let the smell fade away lor.

i bet there will be many dead cockroaches lying dead on the staircase later.

gonna play bejeweled, it's a everyday thing. (:

2009-07-10T00:15:00.001+08:00

Take a look at what i'll do when i'm real bored. =/

2009-07-09T21:02:00.010+08:00

Ant's 23rd advanced birthday celebration at Manhattan Fish Market, iluma!

Had a small birthday surprise for ant at iluma last saturday. We decided to settle ourselves at ant's favourite fish & chips place called the Manhattan Fish Market. Although we had reserved a place. it took us quite a while to actually settled down and get started with our own made handcards! (: With bout 30 mins left, we cracked our brains to came up with each one's design for the birthday boy. Sorry for the ugly card ant, i'm pretty bad at art and crafts. =x

hope you like the birthday surprise ant! (:

pictures below

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2009-07-09T17:52:00.008+08:00

Heaven and Gucci's birthday celebration held at Night & Day.

This post is meant to be updated weeks ago.i'm really sorry for the very late entry cos i'm way too lazy lah. Anyway, to keep this entry a little more interesting, i've posted pictures along with it, and please pardon me for the first 11 pictures as i'm again, too lazy to edit them and making them look nicer. Alrights. let me go abit more in detail of the outing kay?

Dinner at eh. ohshit. i dunno the name of the place but it's some japanese food court somewhere near plaza sing lah. But seriously, if you asked me to lead the way again, i'm sorry it can't be done since i'm a 路痴. =x Oh ya, one funny incident when some of the herdies wanted to buy toto there, it's a little different from those normal singapore pools where you can just walk in and out as you like. There's these 2 security guards standing there to look out for those under 18 years old who are not allowed to buy any lottery. The funny part is that, everybody walked in without problem except for ant. The indian security guard stopped him and demanded to see his ic. You should have seen ant's expression when he turned backwards to look at ben and me lah, classic! hoho! Perhaps it's the way he dress that makes him look none other like a teenager in poly bah. wahahahaz. funny lah! I think it's the only disadvantage to look young bah. hiak~

after dinner, ben bring us over to night & day to give the birthday boy and girl a surprise! I think it's a pretty good place to like chill out with friends. pretty nice atmosphere, at least i kind of like it, just that it's a little too dark in there, take pictures cannot see the face lor. -_____-". They have quite a big toilet for both genders. yes. both share one big toilet. But one thing i'm rather puzzled is that, such a big toilet but there's only 1 cubicle each for m/f and it's very small ! Small as in you dun have much space to stand and all lah, even candiz so small size also got problem le, spare a thought for the big ones like me.tsktsk.

eventually, camwhoring in the toilet with candiz and menda, after which weiwei and jerry joined in and i believe we spend at least 15 mins in there, taking pic after pic. And i heard that jerry was supposed to come and look for us but end up joining! haha.

guess the surprise is quite a successful one bah! (:

shall let the pictures do the talking! (:

left early to head down to seng kang to attend hel mei's advanced birthday celebration.

i don't have the pictures with me so i'll post them up when i get hold of them yeah?

long entry, but worth it. (:

2009-07-09T17:32:00.006+08:00

MY BLOG IS NOT DEAD YET.

Randomly, i asked my little sister how many posts she had in her blog and she tells me that she have 523 posts while i had barely 200 posts in my blog, to think i'm the one who tells her a blogger blogs everyday lah.
super lousy me.
i really wonder does she really have so much to blog about? like every single day there will be something to post no matter what. =/
i'm ashamed, really.
she had her blog much much later than i am lah..
i dunno what had gotten into me, but i dun seems to have much to blog lately,
and even if i have, i'm far too lazy to get the pictures uploaded and rant bout how the events are blah blah blah.
i'm not even sure why am i having a blog now, when i doubt there's any readers who drop by just to read my entries.
take a look at my tagboard, and see how dead it is.

i blame nobody, since i'm the one at fault. (:

anw, next post up will be the outings i went.
: heaven and gucci's birthday celebration.
: ant's advanced birthday celebration.

give me the strength to carry on.

2009-07-03T22:29:00.002+08:00

was going through the tons of neoprints i took over the years today.
and seriously, if i didn't spend so much on those neoprints, i would have been a rich girl lah.
lots of memories flashes back while looking at them, like how cmi i looked in the past ( i dun mean i look good now.) , how dumb and silly looking our poses are etc.
i think i really look like some maid with cockroach fringe in the past lah. wth wth!

sudden change in my mood.
very very very pissed now.
will update more when i've got more stuffs to update~
(:

2009-07-01T18:36:00.002+08:00

1. Think back 5mths ago, are you single ?- nope. i've not been single for 3 years plus.
2. Who can you blame for your bad mood today ?- I'm not in a bad mood at all.
3. How was your night, last night ?- abit of eh insomnia
4. How are you feeling right now ?- sian.
5. Who were the first 2 person you heard this morning ?- ah gong and mother.
6. What are you listening to now ?- please be nice to me by kim hyun joong
7. Do you think someone is thinking of you right now ?- i don't know.
8. Last thing you bought ?- hair dye and maggie mee
9. Are you a jealous person ?- kind of.
10. Does it take alot to make you cry ?- nah. i'm a crybaby.
11. What are [ were] you doing 12.30 in the afternoon ?- sleeping on sofa.
12. Think alot before you sleep ?- forever like that one ma..
13. What's running through your mind right now ?- mr bf! <3
14. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to ?- yes.
15. Do you like to cuddle or snuggle ?- both.
16. Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now ?- mr bf.
17. Do you wish someone would text or call you right now ?- yeah.
18. Is your life anything like it was a year ago ?- nope. i had more freedom back then.
19. How late did you stay up last night ?- 1 plus.
20. You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, what is it ?- ice green tea!
21. Have you lost contact with someone you didn't wish to lose ?- hmm. yeah.
22. Who are your fave person to talk to when your down ?- eh. it's keep within me.
23. Does anyone calls you baby ?- none of your business anyway.
24. Are you a patient person ?- to a certain limit.
25. What is the last thing you said out loud ?- none.
26. Any plans for tomorrow ?- rot even more.
27. What you can't wait for ?- saturday to come! =D
28. Would you go out in public looking like you do right now ?- A 100% no.
29. What is the worst way to say "iloveyou" ?- not saying iloveyou yourself.
30. Seven weeks from now, will you be in relationship ?- i am already in a r/s.
31. What do you carry with you all the time ?- Handphone.
32. Are you mean ?- if someone is mean to me.
33. What holidays are your b'day(bd) closest to ?- valentine's day consider as one?
34. What is the last thing you searched on google ?- can't remember.
35. tag 5 ppl to do this quiz .- this is not facebook, mind you!

2009-06-21T23:41:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 3 YEARS 11 MONTHS BABY!(:

2009-06-18T21:04:00.002+08:00

HURRAY!!!!
i'm here with a good news!
i pluck up my courage to ask my mum if i can go out on saturday and the answer is a YES!
and i repeat myself again, IT'S A YES!!!!!!
but the bad thing is, i have to be back home early again.
-______________-"

man.
how long am i gonna wait to have my freedom back again? =/
i miss late night outs! =p

anyway, i've not yet buy hel's birthday present.
i was thinking rather than end up buying things she dun like, might as well ask her straight wad she wants.
and that girl still didn't give me an answer!!!! RAWR!
helicia khoo, you never say i never buy one i tell you! hahahaha~
faster tell me so that i can buy k?

oh ya. i really dunno how to split myself into 2 on saturday.
cos i have to be there on both.
jialat le lah. =/

just when i've got outings to go to,
one big pimple rested itself on my chin!
>.<
damn pain. fugly. =(
please go away by tomolo!

i''ve got the sudden urge to snap my hair short!
tempted*

2009-06-17T20:12:00.003+08:00

I'm back for updates!

i'm feeling way much better now.

i just want to get those things over.

went out real early yesterday, like 10am?

i just want to avoid friction with mum as much as i can.

it's super tired hearing her scream and shout.

it spoils one's mood.

anyway, spend the day with mr bf.

it's been ages since we actually spend time together, i mean just the two of us.

watched land of the lost as well as drag me to hell.

i had a good laugh watching land of the lost, some parts are just hilarious!

and i seriously think i'm wasting money on the second show, i've been covering my face from the start to the end of the show.

the sound effects and the eerie looking ah ma is a hate point.

i've got bad headaches after the entire badlyshakenfromtheshow.

mr bf is lik watching a comedy throughout the show, if you get wad i mean.

shrugs*

i'm never a horror movie fan you see. =x

back home at 11.30pm.

sucks. for i wish i can have more time with bf.
i want more time with bf~~

but the bad thing is,

i've not yet gotten back my keys.

>.<

so inconvenient la.

wth.wth.wth!

i really wonder if this coming saturday is a lucky day or wad not.

1. have to attend bf's friend wedding dinner.

2. herd outing.

3. hel's advanced bbq birthday celebration.

oh shit.

so does that means i got to divide myself into three?=/

guess i'll skip the wedding dinner since bf most likely will be working till late.

i'm left with herd outing and bbq, oh well.

wait.

i'm not even sure if i can get myself out of the house not.

gosh!

feels like insomnia.

2009-06-15T18:17:00.002+08:00

current mood : fcuking pissed off.

first. she complain how freaking late i return home.

second. she say meet bf only once every week. ( WTF!?)

third. she took away my keys.

forth. she said i always hand out with my friends till damn late.

fifth. she said i've got so much money to take cabs, demands me to return her the money i own her.

sixth. she forbids me to use the laptop from tomorrow onwards.

seventh. she demands me to switch off the com by 11pm tonight.

eighth. she pluck off the wire of my sis's desktop.

ninth. she threaten to confiscate all my sis's money if she didn't want to do the assessment she buys.

tenth. she forbids sis to go out even during the holidays.

and seriously, the damn list goes on and on.

awesome!

WAD A "WONDERFUL"MOTHER I HAVE!

MEMORIES LEFT ONLY IN PHONE.

2009-06-13T23:06:00.002+08:00

was running through the messages in my phone i've received from friends and mr bf.

both wonderful and horrible memories flashes back in my mind.

upon seeing the messages my lang and the others had send me really makes my day better.

can't help but smile, seriously. (:

like think back now, friends whom are pretty close to me,

like suddenly drifting away slowly from me.

friends that i msn/sms almost everyday in the past,

somehow like vanish from my life?

friends that you had like almost everything to talk to,

lessen.

eh no, i should say i can't find one now.

i hate that our conversations ended abruptly,

leaving us awkward.

so, we do have limited topics to talk about?

oh well. sucks.

so where have my old friends gone to?

it's been months since i last heard bout them or meet them up.

great.

RAWR!

i'm ending my post now.

it sucks, seriously.

100 truths.

2009-06-10T18:47:00.004+08:00

i'm totally bored. so ripped this test thingy to kill boredom. =x
pardon me for that!

100 TRUTHS.

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: low fat milk
2. Last phone call: ben ( not pufferfish ben. )
3. Last text message: zai
4. Last song you listened to: thinking of you by katy perry
5. Last time you cried: i can't remember.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: nope.
7. Been cheated on: sucks. hell yes.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: yeah
9. Lost someone special: nah.
10. Been depressed: used to
11. Been drunk and threw up: never did happen to me, yet.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. dark purple
13. black
14. grey

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: yup
16. Fallen out of love: nope.
17. Laughed until you cried: LOL. i did!
18. Met someone who changed you: so far. none.
19. Found out who your true friends were: hmm. i think so.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: no. maybe have, just that i dunno.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: uh huh.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: quite a handful!
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2, max 3.
24. Do you have any pets: no.
25. Do you want to change your name: nah. though i know how freaking common my name is.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: sad to say, an early celebration with menda and nana and spend the actual day with bf.
27. What time did you wake up today: say 10am?
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: listening to songs and sing along with it.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: i want clubbing or late night out with friends!
30. Last time you saw your Mother: just a min ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: can't think of one.
32. What are you listening to right now: not listening to any songs.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no. =/
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: boredom
35. Most visited webpage: facebook, tagged.
36. Whats your real name: Amanda
37. Nicknames: manda, dada.
38. Relationship Status: attached.
39. Zodiac sign: aquarius
40. Male or female?: female lah.
41. Elementary?: bukite ho swee & seng kang pri.
42. Middle School?: hougang sec.
43. High school/college?: boston business sch.
44. Hair colour: brown, with some black. =(
45. Long or short: long
46. Height: 167cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: blahblahblah
48: What do you like about yourself?: i dunno. you tell me?
49. Piercings: used to have 4. now 2.
50. Tattoos: no. but i hope to get one at the spine?
51. Righty or lefty: right, sometimes left? =p

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: i'm thankful i had none.
53. First piercing: when i'm like 10?
54. First best friend: 7!
55. First sport you joined: basketball?
56. First vacation: dun have! =(
58. First pair of trainers: can't remember

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: nothing
60. Drinking: nothing
61. I’m about to: watch tv
62. Listening to : nothing.
63. Waiting for: people to talk to me.

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: of course!
65. Get Married?: definately!
66. Career?: yeah!

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: can i have both?
69. Shorter or taller: taller
70. Older or Younger: older
71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: nice arms
73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: if i really have to choose, will be hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER :
76.Kissed a stranger: no.
77. Drank hard liquor: i can't drink
78. Lost glasses/contacts: lost glasses i think
79. Sex on first date: siao arh?
80. Broken someone’s heart: ya.
82. Been arrested: no
83. Turned someone down: yes
84. Cried when someone died: yeah
85. Fallen for a friend?: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: sometimes.
87. Miracles: yea.
88. Love at first sight: not really.
89. Heaven: maybe.
90. Santa Claus: nope.
91. Kiss on the first date: with the right feelings ba.
92. Angels: no

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: i think so, when i'm younger i think? totally stupid! =/
95. Did you sing today?: yes!
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: consider have ba. who doesn''t have a past?
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: back to secondary sch life.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: my birthday
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: yes.
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: see the title lah! >.<

2009-06-09T19:13:00.003+08:00

hadn't been blogging for like 3458759106 years!

i have tons of things to update, but i'm plain lazy,

and seriously, i dun know how to start.. =x

will update more when the mood kicks in.=/

she's no superwoman.

2009-05-27T23:04:00.002+08:00

thank god that both my grandparents are back home.

thank god i dun have to wake up early to go to the hospital anymore.

i thought things would turn out fine,

but it seems that the nightmare just started.

my ah gong, the stubborn little old man.

have been making things a little harder for us at home.

i guess he just yearns for our attention ba.

praying hard he is on his way to recovery. (:

it was after so many things that had befall to our family,

that i realised how noble my parents are.

every little things they do, just to keep our family going, makes me feel inferior.

as their elder child, i ought to be helping out now, to lighten off their burdens,

but i'm still here bumming around at home, wasting life away.

exams is just next week, and i had nothing in mind.

it sucks. and i hate myself for being so useless, a good for nothing!

for if i were to live without my parents, wad would i be?

thanks for being there,

my superman papa, my wonderwoman mama.

salutes**

and again, i'm no superwoman.

2009-05-18T23:02:00.002+08:00

i'm on my way to recovery, left with the stupid cough.

can you imagine the whole family falling sick like together?

we are like taking turns to fall sick.

argghhh!

anw, ah ma is back home with us though chances of her getting well is like 0%?

my father just want her to spend her last days at home. =(

but thank god she's breathing quite smoothly for the couple of days.

just when she's under control,

my ah gong was admitted to the hosiptal this morning as he's out of breathe.

went to visit him just now at the hospital.

he is still very weak.

doctor said that if he continues to smoke, he wun be so lucky to survive anymore.

things have been very unlucky for my family recently. =(

god, please bless both my grandparents well!

hadn't got the time to mug for exams since i have to go to the hospital all the time.

damn. i'm so gonna flunk again.

i'm dying of fatigue.

PLEASE DON'T GO..

2009-05-12T20:22:00.002+08:00

grandma was admitted to the hospital, once again.

she's having a fever, her lungs are infected and her blood pressure is low.

the teochew tagline we both shared keeps ringing in my head.

whenever i said "dua bee dote ah ma" ( i dunno how the dote word in eng)

she would reply, "ah ma dote dua bee"

and she will repeat it over and over again,

"dua bee dote ah ma, ah ma dote dua bee".

the thought of not being able to hear it again frightens me badly.

please god.

you save her thrice.

please give her the strength to pull through this again.

i really dun wanna lose her.

i love you, ah ma.

Where is the love?

2009-05-04T23:50:00.001+08:00

i'm so happy you're back in singapore.

but i seriously feel so un-loved.

empty.

: (

updates~

2009-05-02T21:47:00.003+08:00

the birthday boy looking happy!

pictures with some of the girls.

honour lea. feed by the birthday boy!

sniggered*

And that's the poloraid with t.t!

(she's the one in black)

bf will be back tomorrow! woohoo~

The very first meet - up with t.t

2009-05-01T22:45:00.007+08:00

After meeting mr bf a while before he went back to malaysia,
cab down to explanade and realised i'm way too early since the group is still on the duck tour and the others doesn't reach that early. =x

it sucks to be alone, nowhere to go.
the bad headache is making things much more worst.
loiter around for abit before seeing lois, follow by ben and ant.
chopping of tables and chairs in makansutra was quite abit of a hassle.
got to be super alert and the moment the people left the tables,
we got to get our butt down the seats to "book" seats for about 29 ppl!

it feels nice seeing the herdies again.
it's been quite awhile since i last saw them!
finally meet up with our hong kong friend, t.t !
she's just exactly like how she is in the virtual life,
bubbly, cheerful, playful and fun to hang out with!
to think she still remembers i love strawberries, so sweet of her! (:
but i didn't manage to take a individual pic with her though,
but i did take a poloraid one with her together with menda, lois, jas, candiz..
waiting for ben to upload lea. =p

of course not forgetting to camwhore as usual!
how can i simply miss the chance to snap shots with my lovelies?

oh yeah, we did celebrate belated birthday for ben too!

but i seriously am too lazy to go facebook and take the pics to show eh. =p

after dinner, we had a super long walk from esplanade to clarke quay.

i was dead tired. i was sweating like there's no tomorrow and i'm very sticky! >.<

i hate being sticky lor. so uncomfortable, make me pek chek also!

by the time i reach home, it's already 1 plus.

thank god there's ben and wailarp to send me back!

thanks guys! (:

t.t is back in hong kong now.

didn't manage to send her off at the airport today.

there's one of my few regrets lah.

and there's no group photo also lor.

sian. dunno when can see her again!

distance is nothing as long as the hearts are linked! (:

LING'S 21ST BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION! (:

2009-04-28T22:53:00.004+08:00

headed down to downtown east to celebrate ling's 21st birthday.

the journey to the terrence is freaking long.. walk quite abit before reaching. =/

the terrence is pretty comfortable, at least much better than the ones i've stayed before.

camwhore with helicia since there's nothing much to do.

afterwhich took a couple of pics with my birthday girl, but the pics not with me yet,

and i got a bad feeling it's gonna be damn ugly!

went home at 12 plus with ling's bf, Amos, since both of us ain't staying over.

and again, got to walk a whole long stretch of road before reaching the main road,

i'm so tired and sleepy le whereby Amos still talk and talk and talk. =p

frankly speaking, i've never like chalets.

guess no where feels better than home for me. (:

and perhaps due to the fact that mr bf ain't there with me.

it sucks to see couple couple so sweet while i'm there alone.

seeing them lovey dovey, i wish i'm blind at the moment,

even bickering is sweet to me at that time!

it sucks even more when people ask me where is my bf.>.<

it's never been good staying around there most of the time,

i feel out of place, like an alien from some stupid planets around humans.

but i'm really glad ling had invited me though.

i'm glad i do my part in your birthday celebration.

oh ya, hope you really like the present i bought for you,

nothing too fancy nor branded, just my sincerity. (:

i really really hope you enjoy your 21st birthday ling!

once again, HAPPY 21ST MY DEAR GIRL! <3

will be busy for the next 2 days.

gonna collect medicine for grandma at the polyclinic and will be meeting the herd for dinner on thurs to meet our hong kong friend for the very first time! (:

welcome to singapore! ^^

oh shit. mugging for exams next week.

sulk*

till then. (:

DOOM'S DAY IN 2012?

2009-04-25T23:10:00.003+08:00

my sister have been watching videos and reading articles on this doom's day thingy.

it was said that according to the ancient mayan calendar, 21st december 2012 appears to the last date.

which means, the world is ending in 3 years time?

whether this is real or not, i can't be too sure.

sis have been asking me if i'm scared.

i smiled and said nothing.

whether it's for real or not,

we'll see it in 3 years time.

shocking but it's expected.

world is ending some day,

it's a matter of early or late. (:

are you prepared of what's coming at us? =x

2009-04-23T19:17:00.001+08:00

Seeing imperfections perfectly.

2009-04-18T00:38:00.003+08:00

what will you do if the world is ending ?
this questions did not cross my mind till yesterday after i watched "knowing".
one of the best movie i've watched recently, but it gets a bit hilarious at the end when all the kids are taken away by the aliens to somewhere else that they dun have to die like the others do.

i çan imagine how frustrating the male lead can get when nobody believes a word he said bout the unfortuate events that's gonna happen.
though it's not real, the various disasters did send shudders to my heart.
i can picture it in my mind,
putting myself into it and thought what i'll do if it happens to me.=/

i should put a full stop to it.
it's just a show. =x

on a much lighter note,
have been meeting mr bf pretty much lately,
which spells love! (:
nothing means more than spending time with him.
i'm so looking forward to our 4 years annivesary!

love you baby! <3

2009-04-13T00:06:00.003+08:00

THE UNWELCOME GUEST

"congratulations is in order, very happy for you,

ultimately she's still the girl."

this is the comment by someone i detest to mr bf,

after he updated his status yesterday in facebook.

basically, bf just change status to :

"engaged to manda tan."

i didn't know it attract attention to none other but her!

yes, i'm completely uncomfortable by the congrats comment,

i'm rather bothered by it's existence too.

it seems like any other congrates,

but somehow i feel it's more than that.

perhaps it's just me getting over -sensitive again,

but oh well, who wouldn't?

"ultimately she's still the girl" rings through my mind the whole of today.

so wad does she means by that eh,

that if i'm not the one, den it's hers?!!?

damn pissed.

>.<

frankly speaking,

her congrates was not appreciated by me.

NOT A SINGLE BIT.

even if it's right sincere from the bottom of her heart.

wadever.

i freaking wish she just save that damn comment to herself!

uh, it sends shudder to my heart.

it freaking brought back the unwanted memories.

AWESOME.

í'm waiting for nightmares tonight.

2009-04-08T18:30:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST! <3

2009-04-04T16:48:00.002+08:00

it sucks that i took a long time to get to sleep at night.

disturbed thoughts running through my mind.

it seems like there won't be a day that i'll stop thinking and be happy.

got to know that hel can go poly ytd from ling.

deep inside, i'm having mixed feelings.

no doubt i'm happy for her,

it was her target and she's able to fulfill it.

but i can't help but feeling down as well.

friends around me are either studying in polys now or already started working,

i look at myself, feeling pathetic.

i've got neither.

terrible. tat's how i feel now.

i'm such a failure, who doesn't get things right.

i feel damn useless among people around me.

a parasite. i would call myself.

or worse still, i'm even worse than a handicapped.

i regretted not putting efforts when i'm taking my n levels.

thus, i dun even have an o level cert.

how am i gonna get a job like this?

parents have been giving me pressure,

which makes things even worse.

i hate myself, for not able to help out in the family.

i'm nothing but a pile of mud.

completely useless.

who can i blame?

nobody but myself.

took a step wrong, and things will never be right. =(

2009-04-03T15:22:00.009+08:00

2nd april 09'

first time meeting my lang and lovelove nana after approximatly of 45 days!
ktv session with my lang follow by dinner and chill out at starbucks with nana.
a bad day for me to sing actually cos i kind of having a sore throat, no form at all!

1st april 09'

meet up with hel and ling on april fool's day! =D

it's been quite sometime since i last meet up with them.

had dinner together follow by slacking and camwhoring at compass point.

how i miss those secondary school days whereby we would loiter in compass point instead of heading home.

in a blink of an eye, we are all grown ups.

i'm really thankful to have them with me though i know sometimes i neglected them.

you girls know very well that i love you! <3

and hel, welcome to our attached club arh! LOL!

may the both of you be blissfully in love with your other halfs!

FRIENDS. MY HAPPY PILLS! (:

2009-03-28T16:56:00.002+08:00

planned to meet up with menda all today but it seems that many couldn't make it,

hence, it's cancelled.

i thought i might have the chance to go out and breathe in some fresh air,

which i assumes will clear my mind better.

staying home hadn't been good,

i've got nothing to do and things that i dun wanna be reminded of, returns.

it's killing me, bit by bit.

arghhh, it sucks.

but.

i feel that i'm better.

it's healing way more faster than i expected.

time is all i need,

to remember nothing.

2009-03-26T22:48:00.004+08:00

It's over.

perhaps thing shouldn't have start in the first place.

the damage is there, and nothing amends it.

it tortures my mind almost every single night,

and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes with heartaches.

i still can't really get over it, yet, but i'm trying.

this time round, it's you, who had ruin the whole thing.

you destroy everything with your own hands.

it's not really you giving up on me.

I'M THE ONE.

this friendship is going to the dump.

i'm not taking it back, ANYMORE.

from now on, your existence means nothing to me.

i can't be bother, at all.

i'm glad things have ended.

on a happier note,

i'm glad i had a chance to talk to menda on msn ytd, after so long.

able to see her through webcam, see her smile, crap with her,

really makes me happy. (:

i can't believe i've not been talking to my friends for at least a few weeks. ):

of course, i sense the distance

and i dun like it, not even a single bit.

but i've been really anti social these days.

darn.

i might end up without any friends with me if this continues.

i'v got at least 4 unknown cuts on my legs,

i really had no idea where or when did i actually cut myself.

wounds everywhere, the worst is none other than my heart.

heart wrecking, we call that. (:

oh ya, i've been burying my head in books for the past few days.

i rather spend time reading than to surf net.

tat's so not me.

i guess i need a change.

i yearns for a change.

Áin't as easy...... ):

2009-03-23T01:12:00.003+08:00

i thought it would be easy to forget every single thing.

but i was wrong, totally wrong.

instead of dumping away the unwanted memories,

it refreshes even clearer each time it reappears in my mind.

permanently in my head.

why torture me like this?

it's never easy. ):

Just a little more love.

2009-03-21T23:40:00.003+08:00

sometimes, just sitting beside the one you love is a blissful thing to do. (:

love you babyboy! <3

Where do broken hearts go.

2009-03-21T00:32:00.001+08:00

I know it's been some time

But there's something on my mind

You see, I haven't been the same

Since that cold November day...

We said we needed space

But all we found was an empty place

And the only thing I learned

Is that I need you desperately...

So here I am

And can you please tell me... oh

chorus :

Where do broken hearts go

Can they find their way home

Back to the open arms

Of a love that's waiting there

And if somebody loves you

Won't they always love you

I look in your eyes

And I know that you still care, for me

For me

You still care ,for me

And I know that you still care

I've been around enough to know

That dreams don't turn to gold

And that there is no easy way

No you just can't run away...

And what we have is so much more

Than we ever had before

And no matter how I try

You're always on my mind

And now that I am here with you

I'll never let you go

I look into your eyes

And now I know, now I know...

):

2009-03-18T18:47:00.002+08:00

i'm getting tired, bit by bit.

i ain't sure how long this is gonna to last.

i need to feel your love.

i need your care and concern.

i need you baby.

BACK TO REALITY.

2009-03-18T18:43:00.002+08:00

having rotting at home for so many months, i'm being "forced" to get a job.

will be waiting for their call.

daydreaming too long till i really dun wan to get out of the little world i'm living.

time to get back to reality.

*****SNAP*****

Lunch session (:

2009-03-17T21:52:00.005+08:00

14th march 09'

lunch session at 天津楼 chinatown with uncle keith and aunt before they return back to australia.
pretty nice atmosphere. bright lighting etc.
we had the buffet kind of dim sum session, the choices of food weren't alot, basically on steamed and fried items.
the mango with prawn in tofu skin is heavenly!
but i rather go xing fu yum cha. (:

uncle keith. he look like a santa claus, isn't it? =p

my 94 year old ah gong! <3

my love, mr bf! <3

the need to be knocked out.

2009-03-11T01:12:00.002+08:00

i didn't meant to post emo entries all the time.

but they do enjoys my company.

i didn't have a choice unless something or someone chase them away for me.

i need something to knock me out right now.

the urge for something which enables me to sleep through the night.

pathetic.

oh well.

tomorrow will be a better day.

i'll be fine, soon. ^^

BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY.

2009-03-11T01:07:00.002+08:00

big girls don't cry.

i ought to be strong.

tears ain't always suitable to drop all the time.

they meant nothing at all in the end.

stab me with a knife, will you?

HEART WRECKING ):

2009-03-11T00:57:00.003+08:00

I never want things to end up this way,

i dun wan us to be unhappy just because of my insecurity.

it's the last thing on my mind to make you unhappy.

but.

i dun like the coldness in your tone.

neither do i love waiting for your smses.

i know you're busy with work.

but i'm really lonely.

the feeling sucks.

i'm sorry for thinking too much.

i'll be alright soon, i hope.

and i just realised,

i hate the way i am now.

hate it to the core.

DETEST

2009-03-09T01:12:00.002+08:00

i can't find another more appropriate word to use.

the word hate seems abit too much, for i hold no grudges to her.

but the sight of just her name, brings back tons of unpleasant things to my mind.

it flashes back, so quickly and clearly, as if to remind me.

tears followed after heartaches.

you told me you had no idea why i reacted so much upon her.

i guess you never know exactly how much pain i went through alone.

it's not easy to put down everything, pretending that nothing had happened.

for , somehow, in a way or another, it happened.

i doubt you really understand.

and i had no idea how to explain to you either.

the wound hurts once in a while,

i find it pretty difficult to breathe actually.

i'm sorry if i acted strangely today.

definately againest my will.

sometimes, i just wish you were abit more observant and sensitive toward me,

understand wad i've told you,

remember every single line in your mind, seal in your heart.

i guess it's not difficult task to accomplish. (:

i can't help but detest. detest. detest.

BFF! <3

2009-03-03T00:10:00.002+08:00

meet up with hel and ling, after so long!
it was really good seeing them again, serious!

had a simple dinner and coffee session with them at novena!
i really need to thank them for dropping down to tts to visit my grandma. (:
love you girls alot!!!!!!!!!!!!

i've known her for 10 years!
ling, thanks for being there for me all these years.
i've never regretted knowing you and thank god for giving such a wonderful you!<3

may happiness be with you and amos.
you have my blessings! ^^

8 years of friendship.
hel, thanks for being there for me for the past 7 years, since we are closer only in sec 2! ==p
thanks for tolerating my temper.
thanks for being there for me. (:

i'm really happy for you now know!
you know wad i'm referring to la.. dun wan to specific more! hoho~

no matter which one you choose,
i wish you all the best, and of course happiness be with you too!
just follow your heart! <3

pardon me if you girls think this group pic is ugly; the other 2 we took are even worse! =p

MANDA LOVES LING AND HEL! <3<3

THE BLISSFUL WEDDING!

2009-03-02T23:32:00.005+08:00

attended mr bf's cousin wedding on saturday night, frankly speaking, i'm excited since it's my 1st time attending as a adult. (:

while waiting for the groom and bride, we watch some slide shows of their wedding pics. really nice taken pictures they've got. i can see how blissfully in love they were. (:

after which videos of the wedding ceremony, wad really touches me it's bf's cousin shouted the love declaration in hokkien to the bride.

how sweet! ^^

bf's little cousin is so adorable! i laughed at the sight whereby bf was playing peekaboo with her, the little sweetie's smiles and laughter really warms my heart and i've got the urge to like hug her in my arms!

with mr bf's cousins, xin lei and shu han!(:

the girl in white is bf's cousin's gf btw. (:

sian, i look super fat standing with them. >.<

and presents to you, the cute cute xi zhen! ^^

she was running about with roses in her hands when i wanted to take pic with her.

got a hard time "catching" her since she's so active! lol.

of course not forgetting pic with mr bf! =D

<3<3<3

how could i not take a pic of myself! HOHO!

took quite a couple of pics but this is slightly the "more can make it" de. =/

many things ran through my mind after attending the wedding.

mixed feelings grew within which i dunno why. ):

well well, i just cherish the r/s with bf alot more now.

nights people! <3

谢谢你

2009-03-02T23:21:00.002+08:00

i thank you for planning the belated birthday surprise for me.
i appreciated the efforts you had put in just to make me happy.

the little strawberry cake and the strawberry flavours tibits, thanks for remembering.
the glowing sticks you bought just to make out the letters happy birthday, i'm touched.

all the little things you do, i can see. all the things you have said, i can feel.

可是感动并不等于喜欢。

2009-02-25T00:19:00.002+08:00

hadn't sleep well these couple of days..

had been a hectic week for me.

grandma was admitted to the hospital again.

didn't expect her to be admitted to hospital as we thought it's only washing the intestine for her.

den doc says her blood pressure is kinda low, so got to like stay in for further observation.

sigh~~~~

seeing needles piercing through her veins really pains my heart.

every now and then, my mind was on her.

how lonely and afraid she will be when the night falls?

i want nothing but for ah ma to be back home safely and healthy.

A TRUE STORY ?

2009-02-23T23:36:00.002+08:00

6 years ago, There was a lake call wh. it is situated in a very secluded place near a forest.
The lake is very peaceful and stagnant.
But one day, a gal came to the lake and find it very beautiful..
She touches the water and ripples goes on and on, bringing the lake to life.
The lake looks very vibrant..
So she went to play at the lake frequently till one day,
she was stung by a bee while playing at the lake, afriad that this will happen again after being treated, she did not went to play at the lake anymore..
During the times that she was not there, the lake was infested with mud and insects of all kinds, it was just in a worse state.
The lake feels unloved and misses the girl alot as only she brings him to life by the ripples she creates and her sound of laughter..

Untill recently, the girl remember this lake.
she went back to the forest and saw the state of the lake.
it was in a mess.
so she clear up the mud and maintain th lake a little so that the insects will lessen.
After that she put her hand into the lake again, bringing the ripples onto the lake,
bringing life once again to the lake, but after that she only visited the place occasionally and not as frequent.
The lake just hopes a day, the girl would build her house by the lake,
enjoying every moment of happiness or sadness together.

But the lake can only wait and hope for all he have in his mind is the girl who cab bring him to life and live vibrantly.

if you received a text msg like this.
the guy was the lake, and you were the girl he referring to..
how would you feel?

幸福

2009-02-22T00:00:00.002+08:00

幸福就像一个玻璃球，

如果掉在地上，碎片会飞得到处都是，

每一个人都可以去捡，

但无论你怎么努力，

都捡不完，

但只要你努力了，

总会捡到一些。

我相信。

2009-02-20T20:24:00.000+08:00

幸福是要争取的。。

MY 21ST ADVANCE BIRTHDAY SURPRISE! (:

2009-02-16T23:15:00.004+08:00

had a little surprise from nana and menda on last friday! (:
they took me on a ride with the singapore flyer, which caught me by surprise as i really believe menda that she's not celebrating for me and that nana was to bring me to have our dinner at a place with nice food. =/

that silly menda of mine, still remember that i like ferris wheel, and that's why both of them spend a big bomb just to give me that as a birthday gift!
touched*
thanks for the little things you girls have done for me.
love it! (:

meet ben and ant after that for a small chat and late night movie together! (:

let the pics do the talking! (:

beautiful shots by my lang! <3

all taken by menda! =P

LOVELOVE NANA! <3<3<3

AND THAT'S MY LANG, MENDA! <3<3<3

I personally thinks my lang looks so pretty here! (:

thanks for everything my dears! ^^

poloraids pics! (:

it's 12.17am now. so it means a day to my 21st birthday!

but how come i dun feel excited about it? =/

FRIENDSHIP

2009-02-08T23:01:00.002+08:00

Like what menda said, friends come and go.
but i'm glad i met this group of wonderful people,
whom i had no intention to meet up at all in the past,

for they convinced me of true friends exists. (:

PS: thanks for the little surprise from you all, i really appreciated all of your efforts! <3

10 more days. (:

DEFINATION OF LOVE

2009-02-05T15:51:00.002+08:00

sad to say, i seems to lost the defination of love.

unwanted memories haunt my mind,

refreshing everything that happens which never failed to bring tears to my eyes.

the scar that's permanently in my heart, will never go away.

i need to courage to trust.

i need the courage to believe.

why do the one who is not suppose to show so much care and love is there for me everyday?

why is it that the one who should love, should care aren''t bothering?

do you know how much it hurts just to wait for you smses?

do you know how much it hurts to see no replies at all?

the love, i'm still holding on.

holding on tight...=(

2009-01-31T11:58:00.003+08:00

happy moments went by in a blink of an eye, ah gong and i send jul to the airport yesterday.

the few weeks spend together were short, yet sweet. (:

it's good to spend the reunion dinner and new year as a whole family~

the countless shopping sprees burns a big hole in my pocket but it's been really nice shopping with her, for we hardly went out together since she's more of a loner when's she's still in sg.

and the best thing is that, i see the transform from her.

from a little stubborn girl to a fine young lady, one who think and talk like an adult and sometimes being a kid at heart.

no doubt she brings alot of laughter to us.

as it's time for her to go in,

this time round, we did not cry.

we hugged and bid goodbyes while she turn and said to us:

"see you all next year! "

with a big smile across her face. (:

we will see her again, very soon~

we miss you juliana!!! <3

2009-01-07T18:39:00.002+08:00

exams are round the corner.
i only have a pathetic 2 weeks, no, should be 13 days to prepare.
i've got like 3 modules to revise.
took out my tourism book just yesterday.
reading aloud while i get the important points written down on my foolscape doesn't help at all.
it's the second day and i've on my 4th chapter only.
i absorb nothing throughout, and realised i just copy down the notes blindly.
i ain't thinking right, and it seems that i have way lots of things occupying my brain.
i start to panic.
fear surfacing slowly, bit by bit.

i really dunno how to start.
i dunno wad to do at all.
nothings seems okie to me now.

will be mugging with menda next week.
i hope i'll keep on trying, keep on going, being motivated through her influence.
i seriously dun wanna flunk my exams, again.
i dun wanna let my family down.

friends who took the same exams as me, passed the exams without a sweat.
all of us didn't study at all, but how come the results is so different?
they never study, can pass. why can't i?

conclusion : they are luckier. or they are born clever. at least alot more den i do.

i need a completely clear and peaceful mind to focus on my exams. ):

stress. panic. fear.

help me through this critical moment, please...

2009-01-04T19:31:00.003+08:00

just when i have the mood to blog about everything,
the uploader refused to get the pictures down!

yikes. spoiler spoiler!
exams is round the corner,
gonna mug again. =/

2008-12-29T23:15:00.001+08:00

no mood to blog cos i've got way too much to blog,

and seriously, i'm too lazy to.

wait till i've got the kicks again. (:

2008-12-11T00:08:00.002+08:00

learned to make sushi today~
thought it doesn't look appealing at all but it taste good!
mr bf wants me to make some for him when he booked out..
3 more days before i can see my babylove!

i've flunk my exams again.

i'm such a letdown.

there's nothing i've accomplished that makes me proud of myself.

what a shame.

it's time to really think bout my future.

2008-12-07T23:45:00.002+08:00

i'm not okie. i'm not okie i'm not okie.

so when i thought my emo days are over, they came back and keep me accompany.
damn.
i hope they dun stay long....

2008-12-04T23:34:00.002+08:00

after 11 years of not painting the house, we get in all done on monday!
look at the dull colours of my room~
points down*

my room is paint with my favourite colour - PURPLE!
love my room!^^

2008-11-24T01:50:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just need someone to understand me.

i just need a warm hug, tat's all. ):

2008-11-23T23:17:00.003+08:00

went over to meet mr bf at his place yesterday.
i look so shag in the pics,
hadn't been sleeping well these days.
damn.. those eye bags and dark eye rings!
I HATE THE SHAG-LOOKING MANDA! >.<

totally worn out*

after dinner, bf suggested going fishing around his house area with his friend.
so we went, and bf teach me how to use a fishing rod, how to hook the bait and all.
you might be surprise, but as a beginner, i managed to catch 5 fishes!

alrights, 5 small fishes.
but not too bad for a starter yea? ^^
bf was like telling me that one cannot catch too many fishes for his/her mouth will "bian wai",
and of course he starts scaring me that my mouth will be like tat lah.
sickening bf!

so this is the fish tat bf's friend caught.

but i didn't like kill the fishes or anything ar...
i put them back to the river after they're on bait.
good experience i got.

woohoo~

bug bf to take pics with me, yet again! ^^

totally loves my boy! <3

you can't blame for me for the super duper blur pictures,

i've got the worse handphone camera ever!

headed home with a happy happy heart!

and late pictures update! 16th nov 2008!

oh god, why do i craves for shopping spree and ktv sessions so much when i'm so broke!

BOO!

2008-11-22T00:57:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 3 YEARS 4 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY MY LOVE! <3

2008-11-21T20:45:00.002+08:00

You tell me, how can i convince you that wad we did for you is good for you?
yes, you go along with what we planned for you, but i know deep inside your heart, you ain't happy a single bit. Unhappiness is written all over your face i tell you, you can decieved others, but definately not me.

1st. we know you wanted to get to express, for you dun have to "waste"another year studying while others are already in jc or polys.
and of course we hope you can go to express stream, which parents dun want that you tell me?
but with your agg scores, you can only fit into normal academic streams in the schools around our house area.. i've shown you the booklet and the scores they wanted, didn't i? okie, let's take it as you insisted on express stream and we go along with you and we still use the 6 choices that we made, THEY WILL STILL PUT YOU IN THE NA STREAM EVEN IF YOU CHOOSE EXPRESS COS YOUR SCORES DUN MEET THEIR CRITERIA!

as for the schools tat you can go to express or the ones tat your friends recommend you, those schools aren't good and they are really a distance away from home, so yeah.
you jolly know mother's character right? the things she want she will get her way or there will be havoc in the house already! you wouldn't want her to stop all your activities like going out with friends or use com for as long as you like isn't it? you got no choice but to obey her.

your er jie and me dun get a chance to choose schools you know?
we dun even have the chances to squeeze them in the list when you gets the chances to put at least a few of your choice. you should be relived and happy, not sulk and blame, looking as if the whole world owns you!

you didn't get the scores you wanted, who can you blame?
your school teachers? tution teachers? the papers too difficult? your friends scores too high and have better brain?

NO!

if you really wanted to blame, i can only say, blame it on yourself.
ask your conscience, HAVE YOU REALLY PUT IN YOUR BEST, PUT ALOT OF EFFORTS TO GET GOOD RESULTS?
i guess your heart already tells you the answer if you are true to yourself!

and wad's wrong with going to academic stream instead of the express?
just because you only have to spend 4 years in sch sch instead if 5 years?
just because express sounds better den normal academic?
or because most of your friends are going to express and you dun get to?

i dun see any difference between studying in an express class or in a normal acad class.
didn't you know express are stressful? based on your character, you think you can take it?
and i fcuking disagree with wad your school teachers say, wad's with the go express dun go na?
sounds no logic isn't it? shouldn't teachers encouraged their students instead of giving them the wrong mindset?

they are misleading the kids, especially ones like my sister who get's influenced easily!
no matter how many umpteen times i told her she cannot get to express with the schools she had chosen, she INSISTED on going express!

i dun deny that it's hard to get to express when you are in the na.
chances are slim but if extra efforts are put in, i dun see why not the case?
there's this girl who's from normal tech all the way to express.
people can do it, why can't you do it?
it's whether you have the determination to do so anot.

so what if you are in the express?
so what if you are in na?
in the end, both have to take o levels right?
in the end both ends up either in jc/polys right?

it's just the damn 1 year apart.
you might take a longer path den the others, but till the end, you ppl, both express and na, lands in the same jc/polys isn't it?
who knows you might do better den a express kid?

i believe as long as you put in all your heart and determination, nothing will goes your way!
anw, even if you dun get the school you want in the end, i hope it will NEVER affect you in any ways but to even strive harder to prove for yourself.
you are living for yourself, not others, so dun mind wad others comment about you!

after so much of ranting, i really hope my words ain't turn to deaf ears.
if you continues to think of the negative ways, there's nothing i can do either.
what i wanted to say, i've already stated very clear.
the rest is up to whether you want to listen or not.

GOOD LUCK!(:

2008-11-20T21:59:00.002+08:00

my little sis got back her PSLE results.
it's such a big disappointment for her since she expects higher marks den wad she gets.
she called back home, crying her heart out but i thought she did pretty well. (:

arguements arise when we were discussing which secondary schools she goes to.my mum was being uneasonable as she demands us to choose the ones she wants. it's not as if she's the one attending schools!>.<

anw, just hope my little sis buck up and strive hard for her future.i seriously dun wanna see her end up like me.

2008-11-18T21:44:00.002+08:00

i actually write a whole paragraph of what i wanted to say,
but to think back now, it's better to like keep within me.

i just want an answer.
why can't friends, or let's make it as humans can't be real and true?
why act like you really like and care bout tat person when you're actually bitching behind he/her back?

if you freaking dislike tat person, stay away will do right,
so wad's with the pretending to be so good, so close?

you call that friendship. but you actually ruin it.
the value of friendship, dun worth a cent.

2008-11-17T00:34:00.002+08:00

why do i have tears rolling down my cheeks?

why do i feel so fcuking lonely?

why do i feel piercing pain coming right through my heart?

unbearable pain.

i could take it no more.

so unloved, by you.

the feeling sucks, really.

WHEN I'M WITH YOU, I MAKE EVERY SECOND COUNTS CAUSE I MISS YOU....

I really do. ):

2008-11-16T21:38:00.003+08:00

had a mini birthday celebration/outing ytd.

we went all the way to novena for steamboat-ing at 镇发活海鲜！

the crowd is freaking scary and it's full house when we reached there.

wait for quite sometime before it's finally our turn.

the food taste pretty alright. but the price is way of steep?

anyway. had a mini celebration for pris and gavin's birthday too!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PRIS AND GAVIN~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! (:

pris and gavin, our nov babies! ^^

tat's ben and ant! (:

not forgetting pics with my owner, candiz! (:

and there's a group photo too~~

afterwhich, we divide into 2 groups : movie and chill out!

madagascar : escape to africa is damn funny.

"i didn't know god likes seafood!"

tat movie really make my day man!(:

more movies coming our way yea herdies? ^^

stay out till really late ytd.

and i'm super shag now, and i got the attack from the flu virus lah.

must be menda pass it to me one!

HOHO~

i'm just kidding arh amenda koh shu qing! <3

well. tat shall ends my post!

ciaos folks!

2008-11-08T01:29:00.004+08:00

meet up with dear ytd since he can get an offday!
super miss him one!

we end up helping out at his papa's bread stall cos his mama is sick.
poor dear still thought he can nua at home one lor. LOLS!

had fun helping out at the stall with dear and his papa.
we managed to get all the bread sold! ^^
it's only up till ytd den i know how xin ku dear's parents are.

it's not easy to wake up damn early in the morn, handmade all the breads,
dealing with customers and all.
it's super tiring one.

afterwhich, went back to dear's place to have dinner and watch teebee~
bf actually fell asleep on the sofa, leaving me alone to watch tv lah..
nudged him countless time den he wake up de. tsk~
but still, i love my babyboy! <3

pics took with my love!
i'm a happy happy girl! ^^

bf got hungry and we end up at the prata shop opp his house.

always complain to me he is fat and all, den end up eat and eat.

HOHO!

bf took a pic of me drinking my teh~

den i caught him in action eating his eggie prata!

my happy bf after eating ! ^^

see, bf have to brush up his photo taking skill lah,

take my pic till like tat! >.<

he still find excuses for himself saying, my angle is like tat!

tsk**

in all, i'm loved! <3

2008-11-04T22:59:00.004+08:00

it's been exactly 1 week since i last blog..=/

anw, went k-boxing with my langsai meimei on her birthday which is like last thurs?
it's the first time she ever sings with a friend, am honour i'm the first!
i'm happy she pluck up her courage to sing~
claps claps**

more ktv session with me and you will be super relax when joining others!
woohoo~

took like 32 pics with her, end up choosing like 4 which i think still okie.
damn jia lat lah. but seriously, i enjoyed myself to the maxed!

i miss meeting up with hel and ling!

super long never see them already!!!! ):

girls, i miss you all hell lots!
meet me soon!

2008-10-28T00:02:00.002+08:00

WANT MANDA TO LOVE YOU MORE?
BUY ME HONEY SOY CHICKEN POTATO CHIPS! HOHO!

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY MENDA!

2008-10-27T22:41:00.005+08:00

had an advance birthday celebration for menda's 19th birthday on sat.
as usual, ktv in the afternoon at liang court, dinner at bugis de zhi cha follow by chill out.

lang sai mei mei super blur.
she dunno nana and me went off to get her a cake!
everything was perfect till one kpo auntie spill the beans out of the bag!
damn pek chek lah. spoiler! hoho!

anw, we sang her a really loud birthday song tat makes her really pai sei... (:
and tat girl says she wants to make 19 wishes lah, crazy her!
shall let the pics do the talking! hoohoo~

menda: woah!
manda : surprise bah! heh!

wad a yummy 3 layers ice cream cake! ^^

menda: let me make my 19 birthday wishes first!!!

manda : -___-"

time to blow the candle! =D

cut the cake menda!

wa seh, such a long knife!

menda : the cake is too hard! how to cut!!!!???

and of course, not forgetting to camwhore! =)))))

lovelove nana and me!<3

lang sai mei mei and sai lang jie jie! <3

with menda and candiz aiai~

with candiz aiai and jojo gf!

很意外会有跟你独处的机会，感觉很奇怪但很开心。

开心并不是对你念念不忘，

更不是因为能和你独处。

开心是因为能跟你聊天，

就像我第一次认识你的时候。

虽然话说得不多，但能知道你我都还关心着对方。

这种机会实在难得，

很欣慰能与你说话，聊聊彼此的近况。

希望这是这么久以来的第一次，但不是最后一次。

2008-10-14T22:53:00.003+08:00

i'm so sorry that i hurt you, once again.
days had pass just like tat...
):

i really hate to know that you are upset.
i really hate to see you cry.
i really hate myself for being cold towards you.
i really really hate the way we are now.

just like you,
i cherish the friendship between us.
i treasure you.
i care for you.
i love you my dear girl.

but the way we are now...
sigh~
i dunno wad came over me and it's not like as if i'm angry over the incident or anything.
i ain't sure how to explain how i feel deep inside.

i long to talk to you like how we did before.
i long to crap with you and finding chances to disturb you.
i long to receive sms/mms from you.
i long to hear you say you missed me.
i long to webcam with you.
i long to play minesweeper with you.
i long to call you santa claus while hoho-ing away myself.
i long to hear received the sweet comments i gotten from you in hp.
i long to hear you call the nick tat is specially for me.
i long to share my secrets and laughters with you.
i long to take pictures/neoprints with you.
i long to tell you how much i really care for you.
i long to tell you how much i really love you.
i long to tell you how damn important you are to me.
i long to tell you the friendship we build,
i dun wan it to be destroy just by a stupid misunderstanding.

i'm really sorry for being such a hard- hearted person.
i dun meant wad i say.
i dun meant wad i do.
sorry in every single way i had treated you.

still the best of friends, right?

LOVES YOU! <3>

2008-10-10T23:55:00.001+08:00
i promise the manda that you all used to know will be back.
loves all. <3

2008-10-10T10:46:00.002+08:00
where are the ones who really care?
where are the ones who really loves?
where are the trueful ones?

the stress.
the burden.
the hurt.
the anger.

they are killing me,
bit by bit.
trying to act like i'm alright it's definately not easy at all.
i hate things that are going on now.

forget it.
it's not like anyone would care.

2008-10-10T10:41:00.002+08:00
they came on tuesday.
things are sealed, not to be taken away.
i can't do anything but to see them seized the things away.

the feeling is damn right terrible.
and worse, i can't do anything.
no doubt, everything is back to square one.
had to start over.
not because i'm afraid.
not because i'm unhappy.
but it's so fcuking unfair since we aren't the ones who do it!

THIS IS REALITY.
A CRUEL REALITY THAT I HAD TO FACE.

2008-10-06T00:01:00.002+08:00
好不容易终于见到你，
我却装作我一点也不在乎。
没有任何对谈，更没有真正有眼神的交流。
不小心跟你对上了眼，
我立刻板着脸，转移视线。

很想和你说说话，
真的很想。
可是，
我并没有踏出那一步。

故作潇洒，
只为掩饰心中的不安。

我好差劲。

很遗憾。
可是我无法面对眼前的你。
无法面对我自己。

只能像一只缩头乌龟一样，
对着你的背影说：
“ 你一定要幸福快乐。”

你曾经对我说，
应该知道的，不应该知道的，你都会知道。
那我想知道，
你知不知道我现在的感受？

我真是傻。
还是忍不住传简讯给你。
你问我一切都还好吗，
我不能说什么，就告诉你我还好。
你劝我不要emo,不要想太多，希望我一切都好。
短短几个字，却弄得我的心情更糟。

你我现在的关系，
就好比陌生人，
连朋友都不算。
很尴尬，很矛盾。

时间会让我放手。
时间会让我忘记。
伤心。痛苦。
都是短暂的。

希望当下一次我在看到你时，
我们能像以前一样，
保持朋友关系。

2008-10-05T23:44:00.002+08:00
when one of my precious friend handed me this award,
i'm really really very touched.
it may appear to be just a piece of paper,
but the friendship behind it meant alot to me.

silly girl, ( you know who you are )
i've never regretted knowing you at all.
thanks for being such a darling, cheering me up when i'm down and all.
deep in my heart, you're one of my many friends tat i truely care and cherished.

anw, finally took neo print with lang sai already!
it's been donkey years since i last took one.
had fun laughing like mad cos she's so crappy,
this girl never fails to make me laugh.
she may be a year younger, but yet we can click..
enjoys her company.
and no doubt, i've got so used to her laughter!!!!

<3>
HOHO!

2008-10-01T01:13:00.001+08:00

i'm lost.

2008-09-10T14:07:00.003+08:00
exams in less den 2 weeks time,
yet i'm still slacking away.
can't seems to have the " heart" to study,
and i really dunno why~

anyway.
i've not been very happy recently.
sometimes i feel so much love, the next min i felt neglected.
i wanted to know how you really feel,
wanted to know if you missed me like the way i do,
wanted to know if you wanted to hear my voice as much as i do,
wanted to know if you want to see me as much as i wanted to,
wanted to know if you want to hold my hand and spend time with me,
wanted to know if you love me as much as i love you.

i wanted to ask you so much...
but each time i held back,
not wanting to spoil the mood.

you promised me that you will call me everyday without failed, no matter how tired you are.
but why,
i didn't get your calls?
=(

just leaning on your shoulder,
holding your hand tight,
taking long bus journeys with you,
can make me happy all day.

2008-08-23T18:57:00.002+08:00

wun be updating my blog after today.
many things had happened at home.
kinda lost now.

anw, wad happened had happened.
no point brooding over it though.
but i learned one important lesson.
never put all your trust onto someone,
even if the person is yr love ones or best friends.
you can't be 100% sure tat they wun betray you.
tat's wad happen to my father,
whom put too much trust to some guy.

finally see the ugly sides of humans.
it's terrible, it's scary.
you wun know who will turn and stab you hard.

2008-08-22T01:22:00.002+08:00
you told me you will call me when you wake up.
i waited.
and waited.
it's 1.23am now...
not a single news of you.

22nd of aug.
our 3 years 1 month's anniversary.
suppose to be a happy occasion.
i'm suppose to be so happy now...
but why do i have tears rolling down my cheeks?

hadn't slept well last night waiting for your call.
but you didn't call at all.
not even a missed call from you.
any idea how worried i am?
i hate waiting for you to call me.

i believe you so much.
but you disappoint me again and again with your unfulfilled promises.
it hurts me.
it really did.

2008-08-21T19:39:00.002+08:00

爆笑监狱兔！

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQICDrewVLk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQk53mbEbvw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlfcspbV7mk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piYLCi0FtJ4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttwiOhQFmhM

2008-08-19T00:17:00.002+08:00
yes, your eyes ain't playing tricks on you.
i'm here for my second post.

a question pop into my mind and asked me,
"who can you trust?"

i decieved myself.
i said i trust my friends.
which are lies.
i dunno who should i trust...
i dun wanna get betrayed again.
tat feeling sucks. to be betray by the one you trust.

so tell me now,
who should i trust?

i rant bout unhappy stuffs yet again.
wth.

2008-08-18T23:43:00.002+08:00
i'm currently loving taylor swift's mary's song.
the lyrics is so sweet, it touched me deeply.
i can listen to it upteen times yet not getting tired of it,
all thanks to helicia. =p

planned to study a little today,
end up dozing off on bed and hp-ing away.
will try to revise a little tml. =x

一时的冲动，让我知道了不该知道的事。
学会放手忘记它，或许比较好吧！

2008-08-17T23:40:00.005+08:00
true friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget..
no matter how many new friends i've made,
you helicia khoo yee wen,
you sui kae ling, ( not in picture)
will always always be in my heart.

we dun meet up as often as i meet up my online friends.
but you girls can never be replaced

keep tat in mind, cos i love you two!<3

2008-08-17T21:29:00.006+08:00
am sorry for the late entry.
too lazy to update already.
lang sai, dun say i never update le hor...^^

anw, attempts to start revising for exams with the group failed.
i'm like writing less den a few lines den my mind wonders off to somewhere else.
yikes.
i can't concentrate well, which sucks badly.
end up getting our videos done for t.t.
and cam whoring, crapping along the whole time.

enjoys my company with the group.
thanks incredibles mall.

tat's ben, the pufferfish!=p

of course not forgetting menda<3>

my gf, jojo!!!!

my lovelove nana<3

ex mistress, heaven!

with lois and pris!

and again, herd leader ben!

done by menda and jas~

LOVE YOU ALL! <3

2008-08-04T01:17:00.003+08:00
how can i not cam whore with my geek spects? ^^

the moment bf saw me with the geek spects,
he laugh and say too big le.
den he forced me to wear it on the bus,
and also to show his family members. >.<
super bad.
so i force him to take with my geek spects.
he also look very funny in it lor!
evil laughter*

hearts you many many my dear~

2008-08-04T00:47:00.004+08:00
finally met up with my darlings on fri.
it's been 1 month plus since i last met up with them.
miss them loads. ^^

ling and me.

hel cam whoring~

i'm part of hel's pic! yay!

we went k session at cash studio.
after which had dinner and bought my geek spects!
ultra big one!
my current love!(:

though we dun meet up all the time.
but always remember tat i love you all!

2008-08-04T00:01:00.004+08:00
My online friends from human pets.
thanks for being there for me when i need you all.

YOU'RE ALL LOVED!<3

2008-07-25T00:32:00.003+08:00
Just 3 days ago, it's our 3 years anniversary ♥
cook spaghetti and bought 2 slices of cakes over to fetch him off work.
had dinner together in his house, he said he wanted to show off to his family that i cooked for him. =x
anw, his mum was like teasing me by saying, "wah, cook for boyfriend hur? "
so shy lah.

my dearest love the spaghetti.
i dunno why it looks like worms in the pic. >.<
doesn't look nice but taste good hor... lols.
he told me he's happy.
as long as he is happy, i am happy too.

no surprises.
no gifts.
no posh restaurants.
i dun need all that at all.
just a simple dinner together.
just time tat i can spend with you,
even if it's just sitting beside you watching tv away.
i dun mind at all.
just a sentence of happy 3 years anniversary dar really can melts my heart.
i'm xing fu. i really feel so.
thanks for everything dear.
♥ let's work hard for our future.... hand in hand. ♥