Simplicity

Friday, September 21, 2007 • 2:52 AM

when friends were enjoying themselves, drinking and dancing,

i'm stuck in my room with four walls, all alone, blogging away.

damn. how i wish i'm part of the party.=(

actually there are 3 reasons why i'm there.

1. i'm sick. (down with sore throat, flu)

2. my mother forbid me to go out.

3. someone is bound to show off to me how rich she is.

i need not mention her name cos naturally friends who reads my blog know who she is.

anyway. this person is really rich now.

and i mean for the time being only cos i'm sure within 2 months,

she's gonna be so so broke.

she sold her piano and got some spare cash now.

she got herself alot of new clothes ( believed to be branded)

bought jo a LV bag for $1400,

get herself a new tattoo on her back for 300 bucks,

on the house tonight for jo's farewell party,

cabfares, food, maybe entry fees,

all bao ka liao by her.

so so generous rite?

filthy rich lea....

she's just using money to draw attentions.

and tat's the only time she got very popular.

how long can this go on?

people will be leaving one by one upon knowing she have no more moeny.

she's a attention-seeker.

money can only do a little magic here.

well. i shall see how far she can go..

it is so hard to love someone.

why can't love stay simple?

haiis...

ying wei ai, suo yi ai, bu gu yi qie de ai.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 • 8:43 PM

suppose to go clubbing today with the girls.

but hell, i'm still home.

and will be home for the entire day.

fcuk.fcuk.fcuk.

all because of my mother, who refused to let me go out.

i'm being respectful to ask for her stupid permission,

yet wad did i get in return?

a fcuking NO!

wad's all these?

i'm old enough to make my own decisions,

i dun have to seek for her so called permission.

hell. i dun believe i still got to get approval to do anything.

i'm 19, know?

i hate the way she forbids me.

i hate the way she screams/shouts at me.

i hate the way she calls the shot.

i hate the way she accuses me of doing things i didn't do.

i hate the way she sees me like a trash kid.

i hate the way i'm being treated differently.

i hate it so much when she brings out all the old staffs tat happens millions ago to say me.

i simply hates it to the core when she threatens me!

in conclusion,

I hate my mother.

all i want is to have freedom.

freedom to do anything i like.

freedom to go anywhere, anytime i want.

why can't she gives me more of that?

i really dun understand.

FCUKING DUN UNDERSTAND.

anyway,

tomolo mel's on the house.

she'll be ordering 4 bottles of alcohol,

for jo's farewell party.

wadever it is,

it's definately not for me.

i hate the way she is so selfish..

why can't call someone to go and even keeping it from her?

i mean, all of us are friends wad..

why do till that extend lea?

isn't it too much?!

and up till now, she is still such a hypocrite.

so fake. so unreal.

aren't she tired to be a 2 headed snake?

she hell rich hur.

paid for this paid for that.

why no money to return ling's 30 bucks which she used to buy clothes?

why didn't return peter the 50 bucks she borrowed from him?

act poor in front of people.

behind the back paying extra for a psp just to curry flavour some-guy-she-just-know.

i'm not making up stories.

they are all FACTS.

TRUE AND REAL.

damn.

i'm really really pissed off....

i want to go clubbing lah!!!

CLUB.CLUB.CLUB.

Sunday, September 16, 2007 • 12:58 AM

haven been blogging for a long time.

i'm sick and tired of how my life is now...

everything just dun seems right and i find myself stuck down there,

not able to move...

i'm not sure wad's bothering me..

something deep inside, making life miserable for me.

it's never easy being someone tat everybody will likes.

some ppl, might hate you for certain reasons.

some ppl will tried all means to be better den you in everything.

wad's the point of doing tat actually?

burdens landed heavily on my shoulders which makes me so stress.

all i want is to have a life of my own.

i just wanted to stay out of every single thing...

is it so hard?

i've since started going clubbing with friends.

it's funny.

i'm once a girl who never smoke, drink or club.

i even said i'll never do it..

but now i'm one who drinks and club.

i guess somehow, like bf said,

"you are addicted to clubbing."

i admit tat i do like to go clubbing.

i like dancing in my own little world,

with no troubles, no worries,

just be myself and dance all i want.

i like the freedom i feels there.

but i'm still the amanda tat everybody knows.

i've not changed a single bit.

and never will it happen.

school is stressful.

i couldn't understand wad the lecturer is teaching.

marketing, tourism industry, business operations,

they know me but i dunno them.

haiis. i tried to study but it just dun seems to get into my mind!

i really really got to buck up le!!! =)

grandma is still in the liao yang yuan.

we still can't bring her back home yet.

her condition not really very stable yet.

she can't swallow hard food and now,

she refused to eat.

she got to have a tube link to her nose in order to feed her with milk and liquid stuffs.

she keeps removing the tubes herself and hurts herself.

i just hope she can get better and return home with us.

see her like tat really makes me feel so heart pain.=(

clubbing with the girls on wed and fri before jo return to america.

lotsa fun awaiting! =p

good nite!