Simplicity

Friday, September 28, 2007 • 10:47 PM

for the past 3 days, i've been visiting grandma in hospital.

mum said grandma is getting weaker.

grandma can be recognise us, still able to rem who came to visit her and all.

just tat she keeps talking non stop.

she say alot of weird stuffs which i couldn't understand.

i'm really worried.

everytime i wipe her face for her,

everytime i see the fragile look on her,

everytime i hold her wrinkled hand,

my heart aches.

from a big sized woman with black hair till now an old fragile lady left with skin and bone with white hair,

the huge differences between last time till now is so tremendous.

i remember when we were still in my old home,

grandma will hold my sister and i by the hands and together we'll go to the wet market.

she would buy all the groceries while my sister and i will be eating the yam kuey or " qian chen gao" she had buy.

she would also give me the duck drumstick i love, knowing tat i like to hold the drumstick and bite.

she would tell me stories of her time, when the japanese attacked singapore,

and i'll sit beside her, listening to her, asking her lots of questions.

back in my current home,

she would nag at me whenever she saw me touching and combing my hair, say tat i touch too much already.

we would sit in the living room gossiping behind my mum's back,

and i'll start complaining to her while she sits there listening to me.

she would asked if i have enough money to use and giving me when i dun have any.

she would keep my secrets away from my mum knowing i'll get a scolding by her if she knows.

she would ask me to pour her a cup of hot water and get her some eye rolls and to switch on the tv for her.

i would love to do all these with grandma again.

she had been a very strong and stubborn woman.

miracles happened once on her.

will miracles happened for a second time for my dear grandma?

i'll be your guardian angel, watching over you.

i'll never abandon you, ah ma.

i believe in you....

• 2:29 AM

i didn't see it coming.

and now it strike me badly.

i thought i'll be strong.

but it's not easy.

i wish wad i've heard wasn't true.

and tat you will never do this to me.

i'm totally wrong.

i feel so betrayed.

i feel so hurt.

i feel so stupid.

i'm so silly to believe wad you said.

i'm glad i knew all these earlier.

i should be happy to see through you.

you dun worth my tears.

i know time will heal my wound, eventually.

after all these times...

i'm just a fool to you.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007 • 11:53 PM

visited grandma in hospital today.

she is pretty weak with some tubes inserted on her hands.

haiis. doc said her condition not very good already.

she got the lung infection again.

just hope the antibiotic given to her helps.

she just have to pull through this.

she have been saying alot of weird stuffs to us.

will miracle happens again?

doubt i can go anywhere this week.

sian. no clubbing.

must i end up like hel,

no clubbing for 2 months?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007 • 5:33 PM

meet hel ytd to return her the eye piece.

after which she stayed at my place till 4 plus in the morning.

we chatted, gossip but she spent most of the time taking self shots.

oh ya. i got to nag again.

i think it's the 50th time i talk about hel being drunk on last thurs nite.

i just keep on saying and she assumed i'll tell her future husband bout it.

like i will remember it till years later like tat. WTH!?

anyway.

she was really drunk.

she lie all over the places.

she pukes almost everywhere,

some more pink colour one. =/

she shouts at people,

even threaten to kill them when they let go of her when she vomits which cause her to fall.

she hurts her forehead, 2 kneecaps.

she need people to support her since she had no strength to support herself.

some ang mo trying to take pics of her looking so drunk.

a ang mo lady being so sweet enough to ask how she is.

amos got to bring her up with a wheelchair.

ling and her mum so sweet to clean her up and wash her soiled clothes.

i mean, in this world now, who will even bothered to clean up the mess?

in some incidents tat happens in your life,

you can see who are true and who are just putting a fake front to u.

it's funny tat you only can see through people in these ways.

so pathetic hur?

true friends never abandons you.

tat's all i believe.

bad news followed.

grandma was admitted to the hospital again.

the place where grandma was recuperating wasn't good enough as care, facilities etc.

the medicines there didn't got her better so no choice she have to go to the hospital for intensive care.

heard from my father tat tubes were all over her and she need the mask to breathe,

but she's in the normal ward.

just hope she get better and come back home with us.

will be back for more updates! =)