Saturday, April 4, 2009 • 4:48 PM
it sucks that i took a long time to get to sleep at night.
disturbed thoughts running through my mind.
it seems like there won't be a day that i'll stop thinking and be happy.
got to know that hel can go poly ytd from ling.
deep inside, i'm having mixed feelings.
no doubt i'm happy for her,
it was her target and she's able to fulfill it.
but i can't help but feeling down as well.
friends around me are either studying in polys now or already started working,
i look at myself, feeling pathetic.
i've got neither.
terrible. tat's how i feel now.
i'm such a failure, who doesn't get things right.
i feel damn useless among people around me.
a parasite. i would call myself.
or worse still, i'm even worse than a handicapped.
i regretted not putting efforts when i'm taking my n levels.
thus, i dun even have an o level cert.
how am i gonna get a job like this?
parents have been giving me pressure,
which makes things even worse.
i hate myself, for not able to help out in the family.
i'm nothing but a pile of mud.
completely useless.
who can i blame?
nobody but myself.
took a step wrong, and things will never be right. =(

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the aquarius girl.
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